Brooke Knows Zip
Those of you strong enough to abstain from late night channel surfing are probably unaware that Brooke Hogan has her own reality show. Brooke Knows Best follows the spawn (or spawnette?) of Hulk Hogan as she moves out of the house and plays grown-up. VH1’s web site says of the show: “She’s beginning an adult life with many new responsibilities, temptations, and opportunities as she tries to build a career as singer.” The site promises a colorful cast of “her friends, her roommates, her fellow dancers and choreographers and her producers, songwriters and business associates.” Those people haven’t shown up yet. It’s just Brooke, making pouty, dumb-blond faces while her roommate follows her around the apartment like a jack russell terrier, saying sassy, gay sidekick things once and awhile.
It’s hard to believe Brooke will be able to create any kind of life for herself; she’s too stupid. In a typical scene, Sidekick and Brooke are interviewing prospective roommates. When asked what kind of person she is, a young, goth-looking girl says she’s into current events. (Brooke seems ill-at-ease just sitting across from this girl, like she’s never seen a pale person before.) Sidekick and Goth-y say they’re both democrats, and Brooke takes the opportunity to tell them she isn’t really into voting. As if that isn’t bad enough, she goes on to say she can’t believe a woman is running for president, because what with our wacky hormones and all, us ladies can’t be trusted to make decisions.
Couldn’t the producers take away Brooke’s mic and just have her goofily pantomime her way through the show? It wouldn’t be all that different. I know she’s being extra dumb for the sake of entertainment, but shouldn’t there be a limit? Even Sidekicky looked pained. Then Brooke suggested they look for hot guys at the beach, and he shouted “Totally!” and leapt into her purse.


