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First the 37-year-old actress was taken to the hospital after collapsing on a flight to London. According to The Sun, Ryder’s condition led the plane to make a hasty “priority landing,” after which she was checked into a hospital under a fake name. Gossip mongers are surmising that the original Wino took too many sedatives to combat her fear of flying and had to have her stomach pumped. Anyone who remembers her 2001 arrest for shoplifting knows that the actress has a history of pill-popping.

Now according to British news, Ryder is under investigation for “losing” a very pricey diamond bracelet. The Daily Mail reports that she was lent a bracelet and ring to wear at a Marie Clare magazine party in Spain. She later reported the items missing, saying she gave them to staff at her hotel for safekeeping. The hotel claims it has no record of her handing over the jewels. (Cue the theme from Dragnet.) Italian jeweler Bulgari obviously wants the stuff back and has called the cops to figure out what really happened. My theory is that Ryder popped a few extra Xanax for her fear of magazine parties and consequently remembers nothing. Her defense is probably, ”Diamonds? What diamonds?”

Variety is running a piece in which A-list actors like Kevin Spacey, Natalie Portman, Blythe Danner and James Franco pick their must-see performances of 2008. It’d be catty fun to read them tearing apart their fellow-actors’ work, but no, this is a classy affair. Spacey praises Jeff Goldblum’s portrayal of a Holocaust survivor in Adam Resurrected, while Blythe Danner describes Richard Jenkins’ performance in The Visitor as “mesmerizing.”

Harvard grad Natalie Portman turned in a passionate piece about Sean Penn in Milk. She scores extra points for tying in current events, concluding, “Sean Penn so inhabits Harvey Milk that I left the theater feeling the need to march against our frighteningly similar Prop. 8 to honor this man I now know.”

James Franco, who’s in his first semester of a writing MFA in Columbia, took a more casual approach to the assignment. His first line, “Heath in “‘The Dark Knight’” was great,” doesn’t exactly pull you in. But hey, a student’s gotta prioritize. Check out the essays here.

Britney Spears performed a re-worked version of her new song Womanizer at the Bambi Awards in Germany this Thursday. Perez Hilton’s verdict is: “She wasn’t great, but she wasn’t embarrassing.” He added that the pop star seemed a little stiff and had too much downtime in between dance moves, but he liked the remixed song.

However, the best part of the night wasn’t Brit’s actual performance but when she accepted an award from crazy-boots fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld. The Olsens of the celebrity world are just kooky enough to have a believable repartee with Uncle Karl, but Spears and Karl make for an awkward pair. Says the eccentric designer to the open-mouthed, uncomprehending Spears, “[You are] coming back not only as a phoenix, but as a bird of paradise.” Britney looks out uneasily at the audience for a moment, then turns back to Karl, nodding with let’s-get-this-shit-over-with determination. Then the camera flashes to the audience to capture a perplexed-looking Meg Ryan. She looks like she doesn’t know whether to laugh, feel pity, or excuse herself to go do some shots at the bar. Share in Meg’s puzzlement below.

Former SNL cast member Horatio Sanz turned heads recently when he appeared at an event looking much slimmer, and actually quite dashing. Sanz spent his eight years on SNL as the funny fat guy, a familiar role on a show that introduced us to comedians like Chris Farley and John Belushi. With predecessors like that, it’s easy to understand why rumors of Sanz’s death have been circulating since he left the show in 2007. 

Fortunately, it looks like leaving SNL was a great move for the comedian, at least in terms of his health.  Reports are that he’s lost up to 100 lbs. He told New York Magazine, “I’ve been eating better. I’ve been trying to come up with a joke about how I’ve lost weight and I was going to say, ‘I stopped putting nuts in my sundaes.’” On a serious note, he revealed that he never weighed himself at his heaviest because “I was scared I might die.” Good for Sanz for taking his health seriously and breaking out of the Chris Farley mold.

Last night saw the finale of the 11th season of America’s Next Top Model. The twitchy French girl, the arrogant Angelina Jolie wanna-be and the loud Asian chick who admitted to a boob job had all been sent home. The remaining three were sweet, peace-sign wearing Analeigh, blond Samantha, and Mckey, who pulled some killer poses throughout the competition. 

For the night’s first challenge, the girls had to memorize a script for a CoverGirl commercial. I forget the product, as the girls kept tripping over their lines. Analeigh especially had trouble. Though she was brilliant in the commercial with the teleprompter, she completely blanked out here and had to be fed each line. Unsuprisingly, she was given the axe at halftime.

Now Mckey and Sam had to battle it out on the runway. The runways always contain challenges intended to trip up the nervous contestants, and this one was no different. It was straight out of Alice in Wonderland: pink with hills and slopes galore, snaking over a giant space in front of the audience. In order to attain the hills in high heels, the girls had to get a running start, and I was just waiting for a weak ankle to take a girl down along with her Top Model dreams. Fortunately, nobody fell. Samantha and Mckey aren’t the strongest walkers, but the judges agreed that Mckey’s long legs gave her a little more grace.

Tyra declared the final winner in a truly bizarre outfit, which was navy blue, part Star Trek and part head mistress, with pointy shoulders. I don’t know if she’s trying to inspire awe in her contestants when she stands before them in these laughable get-ups, but I think I speak for all viewers when I say WTF? As expected, Mckey was crowned winner of Cycle 11. She’s the first Top Model to pick up Tyra numerous times while hugging her, a gesture that, believe it or not, actually seemed to embarass Tyra.

This one’s ripped from Perez Hilton’s headlines, kittens. Funny lady Wanda Sykes spoke at a gay rights rally in Las Vegas yesterday and came out as a lesbian. Galvanized by the passing of Prop. 8 in California, Sykes said she felt motivated to declare herself. “I don’t really talk about my sexual orientation,” she told the cheering crowd. “Everybody that knows me personally, they know I’m gay, and that’s the way people should be able to live their lives, really… We shouldn’t have to be standing out here, demanding something that we automatically should have as citizens of this country.” (But then what would Perez have to write about? How he detests Jennifer Aniston, I guess.) Sykes went on to say she was married in California, and that her wife was in the audience. Check out her stirring speech below.

If you’ve seen VH1’s The Pick-Up Artist 2, you know who I’m talking about. I’ve never watched a whole episode, just cringe-making bits and pieces. Every time, I’m amazed at the eyeliner-wearing idiot that presides over the judging panel as Zen Master Pick-Up Artist. According to Wikipedia, Erik von Markovic, aka Mystery, is “an innovator in the seduction community.” I know looks aren’t everything, but they play an important part in the fine art of luring drunk chicks into your pants. So I think it’s fair to judge this assface by his cheesy magician’s style. The giant fuzzy hat, the mini-soul patch, the I’m-looking-into-your-soul stare. (Does he teach his young proteges that look? I bet he developed it through hours of looking in the mirror and making “sexy” faces at himself.)

Von Markovic looks like a mix between Criss Angel and a white Dennis Rodman, back when Dennis Rodman wore feather boas at nightclubs. Maybe he wows the ladies in Vegas or at the Playboy mansion, where the biggest hat in the room equals manliness. But cartoon character men don’t fare quite as well in the real world. 

Now that Tina Fey has no reason to appear on SNL and Amy Poehler is also moving on, the show has had to address its lack of ladies. I mean Kristin Wiig can’t do every skit, right? According to Gawker, Lorne Michaels has brought two new female comedians aboard. One is 21-year-old Abby Elliott, daughter of comedian/actor Chris Elliott. Here is Abby impersonating the perpetually stoned-seeming Kirsten Dunst.

She looks a little like Nicole Ritchie, right? I’m sensing more imitation possibilites here…

SNL’s other new face is Michaela Watkins, who can be seen here on The New Adventures of Old Christine.


Looks like Watkins has the kooky awkward thing down. We’ll have to wait and see whether these comedic ladies reach the heights of Wiig and Poehler, or fall into background parts like so many before them.

Access Hollywood is reporting that a 30-year-old woman was found dead in a parked car on Tuesday evening near Paula Abdul’s L.A. home. The woman’s parents had reported her missing and told police they believed her to be near Abdul’s house.  She was a big fan of Abdul’s, and news footage of the story shows stickers of the singer hanging from the rearview mirror.

The woman was pronounced dead on the scene. Police believe her death to have been a drug overdose/suicide but are still waiting for autopsy reports.

TMZ reports that the woman may have been more than a big fan. They say she could have been stalking the star for years. Her parents did admit to police that their daughter had “an unnatural obsession” with the American Idol judge.

In a recent interview with Maria Menounos, Lindsay Lohan described the President Elect using what sounded like an out-dated and many would say quite offensive term. She says the word so fast that you’re kinda like, “Did she just say… the word I think she did?” Maybe she meant to say “of color” but took an ill-advised short cut? Too many valiums that day? Watch the clip here.