lickyrlolli

If you’ve seen VH1’s The Pick-Up Artist 2, you know who I’m talking about. I’ve never watched a whole episode, just cringe-making bits and pieces. Every time, I’m amazed at the eyeliner-wearing idiot that presides over the judging panel as Zen Master Pick-Up Artist. According to Wikipedia, Erik von Markovic, aka Mystery, is “an innovator in the seduction community.” I know looks aren’t everything, but they play an important part in the fine art of luring drunk chicks into your pants. So I think it’s fair to judge this assface by his cheesy magician’s style. The giant fuzzy hat, the mini-soul patch, the I’m-looking-into-your-soul stare. (Does he teach his young proteges that look? I bet he developed it through hours of looking in the mirror and making “sexy” faces at himself.)

Von Markovic looks like a mix between Criss Angel and a white Dennis Rodman, back when Dennis Rodman wore feather boas at nightclubs. Maybe he wows the ladies in Vegas or at the Playboy mansion, where the biggest hat in the room equals manliness. But cartoon character men don’t fare quite as well in the real world. 

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