lickyrlolli

Angelina Jolie reportedly “dissed” Ryan Seacrest at the Golden Globes yesterday. Seacrest attempted to score an interview with the actress and Brad Pitt, but the golden couple sailed past him, oblivious to his chirpy appeals. Let’s imagine the scene because it has a lot of dramatic potential. Short, yappy Seacrest goes into internal convulsions when he spots Brangelina from a distance, wafting along on their separate plane of existence. He tries to keep his cool. He has a history with Jolie. He attempted to engage her in red carpet banter at the 2006 Golden Globes, but the actress was distant and cool in her responses. Her mother, Marcheline Bertrand, was dying at the time. He takes deep breaths and recites his calming mantra. He fingers the Xanax in his suit pocket and calls out to the pair in what he hopes is his typically casual, tv-friendly manner. 

But poor Seacrest is invisible to Brangelina; he hasn’t done enough humanitarian work to register in their line of vision. They stride past in slow-motion like the ultimate prom king and queen, while Ryan the lowly band geek scampers after them to get signatures for his yearbook. They aren’t snubbing Seacrest, it’s just that they can’t see or hear him. To Angelina, he’s the equivalent of a gnat, a pesky buzzing sound that’s soon drowned out by the waves of inner peace that roll out from under her billowing grecian-style gown. She is held aloft in the tower of her own aura, and can’t make out the small dog pissing in excitement at the base of her grandeur.

Today Seacrest spoke about the snub on his KIIS-FM radio show, saying, “I don’t think Angelina thinks I’m that important… I don’t think I’m top of mind for Brad and Angelina. I honestly don’t believe they’d know who I was…”  

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