lickyrlolli

That’s right, ANTM fans, Tyra Banks’ popular series has been packaged into a book. Fierce Guide to Life: The Ultimate Source of Beauty, Fashion, and Model Behavior will be released April 7th to coincide with the show’s 12th season. (Good God that’s a lot of seasons!) Fierce’s author, J.E. Bright, has made a career out of book adaptations of movies and TV shows. Bright has written “junior novels” based on movies like Madagascar, Kung Fu Panda and Ice Age. Fierce Guide will appear not in Beauty/Grooming, then, but in the kids’ non-fiction section of your nearby Barnes & Noble.

 Judging the book from its cover (which is what ANTM is all about), Fierce Guide is lame even from a 4th grader’s perspective. It features a shot of the Cycle 5 gals, pre-makeover. Yeah, that was a good season, featuring lesbian Kim and drunk Lisa, but it’s not exactly up-to-date. The content of the book is less than fierce too, giving advice to pre-teens who want to model. It covers Tyra-isms like smiling with your eyes, as well as diet and exercise tips and makeup how-to’s.

Here’s an excerpt from the section about body hair: “Yes, you’re secretly a hairy beast. While there is no medical or hygienic reason to get rid of your body hair, the current standards of beauty absolutely require you to remove all hair from your armpits, legs and face for a smooth, youthful look. It’s a regular chore that every model must handle. If you’re going to be modeling a bathing suit or lingerie, you will definitely need to groom your bikini line.” Sounds like the book includes coupons for My First Gillette Razor. Next up: an ANTM boardgame. Now that might be fun.

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