lickyrlolli

Actress Lindsay Lohan recently ended a very rocky relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson. There’s been so much tabloid press over the breakup it’s sickening, with rumors swirling that Ronson was cheating, that she recently got her locks changed, and that Linds is desperate, suicidal, on drugs, etc. Say what you want about Lohan, she is a decent actress with solid comic timing. Post-breakup, she starred in a “Funny or Die” video that spoofs an eHarmony personal ad. Lohan pokes fun at herself and the tabloid mania that surrounds her every move. The newly single actress says she’s ”looking for someone I can spend the rest of my life with… or at least the rest of my probation with.” See the vid here.

The always loopy Brittany Murphy appeared on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson last week to promote a new movie premiering on Lifetime. The interview was pretty dull but one aspect stood out. Murphy, who hails from Jersey, spoke in a British accent. My thought was that she’s practicing for a role, but then I don’t think a whole lotta roles are coming her way.

Ferguson inquires about the actress’ drinking habits–oh, just out of curiousity, I suppose–and Murphy tells him she refrains from the sauce, claiming she likes to “stay grounded.” (I see she’s following the Paula Abdul method of blanket denial.)  ”This is grounded?” Ferguson jokes. Her behavior might not be substance-related; could be nerves or malnourishment, or both. Take a gander at the darling oddity below!

Thirty-four year-old actor Joaquin Phoenix recently announced his retirement from Hollywood.  He said he plans instead to focus on his music career. What music career, you ask? Well, he played Johnny Cash in a movie, so I guess that makes him part-musician. Now it seems Phoenix is making a documentary of his transition from actor to musician.

Hmmm, smells like a ruse to me. The former actor did an impromptu rap performance in Culver City, CA, which was filmed by his buddy (and partner in crime?), Casey Affleck. Click here to see it. Defamer is calling the whole retirement thing “bullshit” and Phoenix’s scruffy bluesman get-up looks like it’s for a role. Maybe he and Affleck got sick of reading scripts and decided to make their own movie? Way to be proactive, boys!

First the 37-year-old actress was taken to the hospital after collapsing on a flight to London. According to The Sun, Ryder’s condition led the plane to make a hasty “priority landing,” after which she was checked into a hospital under a fake name. Gossip mongers are surmising that the original Wino took too many sedatives to combat her fear of flying and had to have her stomach pumped. Anyone who remembers her 2001 arrest for shoplifting knows that the actress has a history of pill-popping.

Now according to British news, Ryder is under investigation for “losing” a very pricey diamond bracelet. The Daily Mail reports that she was lent a bracelet and ring to wear at a Marie Clare magazine party in Spain. She later reported the items missing, saying she gave them to staff at her hotel for safekeeping. The hotel claims it has no record of her handing over the jewels. (Cue the theme from Dragnet.) Italian jeweler Bulgari obviously wants the stuff back and has called the cops to figure out what really happened. My theory is that Ryder popped a few extra Xanax for her fear of magazine parties and consequently remembers nothing. Her defense is probably, ”Diamonds? What diamonds?”

Britney Spears performed a re-worked version of her new song Womanizer at the Bambi Awards in Germany this Thursday. Perez Hilton’s verdict is: “She wasn’t great, but she wasn’t embarrassing.” He added that the pop star seemed a little stiff and had too much downtime in between dance moves, but he liked the remixed song.

However, the best part of the night wasn’t Brit’s actual performance but when she accepted an award from crazy-boots fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld. The Olsens of the celebrity world are just kooky enough to have a believable repartee with Uncle Karl, but Spears and Karl make for an awkward pair. Says the eccentric designer to the open-mouthed, uncomprehending Spears, “[You are] coming back not only as a phoenix, but as a bird of paradise.” Britney looks out uneasily at the audience for a moment, then turns back to Karl, nodding with let’s-get-this-shit-over-with determination. Then the camera flashes to the audience to capture a perplexed-looking Meg Ryan. She looks like she doesn’t know whether to laugh, feel pity, or excuse herself to go do some shots at the bar. Share in Meg’s puzzlement below.

 As many of you know, California recently passed a ban on gay marriage. Proposition 8 proposed to eliminate same-sex marriage, but some voters were confused about its wording. They were under the impression that a “yes” on Prop. 8 granted marriage rights. Opponents of the proposition tried to spread the word (”vote no!”), but apparently they did not reach the heavily medicated easily confused Courtney Love.

The singer later took to her MySpace blog to vent her feelings in typical word salad style:

“blown away
Current mood: bouncy

That prop 8 passsed! motherfuckers! who voted against it! it was confusing language in malibu there were kids reminding us to vote yes thatthe language was conbfusing and people were votingno when they meant yes or soemthin.”

Once again, Love proves that drugs scramble your brains, robbing you of basic reading and writing skills. Court later revised her blog, but we suspect she fumbled that vote.

Looks like Drew Barrymore fancies the young ones! Last night Barrymore attended the Kings of Leon concert after-party, and ended up hanging out with Gossip Girl darlings (and roommates) Ed Westwick and Chace Crawford. In a drunken frat party move, Barrymore, 33, proceeded to spend the night making out with Westwick, 21. The pic above shows just how conspicuous the two’s PDA session was.

It was first reported by Perez Hilton that Drew had been kissing Chace Crawford, and she was spotted recently leaving an SNL after-party with him. But enough people witnessed the make-out storm to confirm that last night’s partner was in fact Chuck Bass.

I’ve seen this little Westwick brat and don’t understand his appeal, do you? Is he British? I guess smug and smarmy reads sexy in certain lights, or when you’re very very drunk, eh Drew? Vanity Fair reports that the lucky gent wore leather pants and pointed shoes in an attempt to look as much like an S&M elf as possible.

Is this a joke? The little imp who stole the hearts of Project Runway fans with catchphrases like “hot tranny mess” and “fierce” is designing a line for mothers-to-be? Perez Hilton reports that PR winner Christian Siriano is creating a maternity collection for the Spring of ‘09. Siriano joined forces with Marta Abrams and Elise Rosemarin of Moody Mamas maternity clothes to create his line. It’s even called Fierce.

The clothes I remember him designing on the show were all black and pretty much the antithesis of comfy-looking. I remember tight-fitting pants and torsos and a lot of poofy sleeves. Yeah… I don’t know much fashion jargon. Anyhoo, his sketches show a new side of the designer, with flowy dresses and a much lighter palette. An interesting and unexpected direction–but at least he’s still newsworthy, unlike other PR winners.

Mary-Kate Olsen has been spotted with one of the Madden bros in NYC this past Tuesday night. It’s hard to say if this is Joel or Benji Madden. Benji seems to favor a bald look, while Joel enjoys the Samantha Ronson-style hat, as seen here: 

It’s a funny twist of fate if this is Paris Hilton’s bf Benji chillin’ with MK, as the Hilton sisters have a history of stealing MK’s boy toys. For example, in 2006 MK dated Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos.

The pair shared an interest in flirty trampolining. Niarchos met Paris through MK, and he soon dumped the twin for the heiress. MK was crushed, and it is rumored that the botched love affair prompted her to drop out of NYU.

Before Niarchos, MK dated David Katzenberg, son of the co-founder of DreamWorks.

Ahh, what a dreamworky pair they made. Now David is dating not Paris, but Nicky:

I know, kind of creepy, right? I guess MK’s talents lie not only in trendspotting, but also in eligible bachelor-spotting. If by chance this is Paris’ former boyfriend Benji Madden, I say kudos to MK! Way to turn the tables, lady.

This week’s Life & Style reports that Lindsay Lohan is thinking about converting to Judaism to be closer to girlfriend Samantha Ronson. Ronson’s family is Jewish, and Catholic-raised Lindsay recently updated her Facebook profile to say that she is converting to a new religion. 

However, Linds’ friends know her too well. A source tells the mag: “Two years ago it was Kabbalah. Last year it was Alcoholics Anonymous. She was into ‘peace’ for a while. Whatever is of the moment, that’s Lindsay.” The so-called friend continues, “The one thing it does show is her commitment to Sam. She could be any religion and Lindsay would be open to it.”

Here’s the happy couple laughing it up on the way to temple: